Week 26: Thursday 18 - Wednesday 24 May 2017
This week's blog also partially covers some of the preceding weeks... with brain fog I forgot to include stuff in last week's update lol.
Obviously last update shared that I had been through the mill a wee bit, and that this new chemo is a lot more aggressive. Well, I forgot to say that I had had my 5th chemo during that time... again no allergic reaction, posted on Facebook with a thumbs up... and then it was like a bad 60's batman episode where I feel I should have had multicoloured starbursts coming out of me with comedic captions... 😜.
Have to say though, I have discovered my local GP surgery is excellent when it comes to getting medicines. Alongside getting fast pass track into the hospital, the cancer card gets me prescriptions written within 10 minutes, rather than the published 48hrs 😄😄😄.
(To be fair... patient waiting with projectile vomiting in the waiting room does tend to have an impact lol.)
One of the funniest stories however was one of the days that mum came to take me out for a run and to maybe try some nice lunch to tempt my tastebuds...I kept saying I was fine... and fine.... and fine... till we drove up to the local Beefeater.... and in full view of the lunch crowd, I was spectacularly sick out of the car.
Mum had just finished telling me she had just washed her car, and there I was being like the girl from 'The Exorcist', trying to avoid splashing her car with bright yellow bile!!
I was completely mortified. I have NEVER been sick in public before, and preferably will never do so again. But then I really took the biscuit... I asked mum to ask inside for a bucket of water to clean the car park. I think she thought I was joking...
Thing is, I am pretty sure most people may just have got back in the car and scarpered, never daring to show their face again... but honestly, I just couldn't. I couldn't leave that there...
Anyway... mum was a complete trooper and did as I asked and actually did the rinsing down for me... and she even managed to keep a straight face when I said I then felt fine, and did she want to go in to eat.... it was only afterwards that she admitted that she didn't feel like eating, and that she thought I had lost my mind...
Ahhh well... it was funny with hindsight 😄😄😄.
Managed to see a few friends and family in this past week - am pretty sure people want to check I actually am still alive, and not just sending out false texts like a robot... which is lovely... but it also made me think if I do send false messages....
I don't believe I do... mainly because when I am feeling rubbish I generally don't text people, partly as it's too much effort to pick up the phone lol. There are a few people who text and I might say 'rough week' - but although my immediate family will hoot with laughter... I don't actually believe in being a drama queen or looking for pity parties 😄. But equally I also get that people are pleased to see me up and about - and it's not the same as reading about me on my blog or Facebook 😄.
It was also my mums birthday this week, on my last day of chemo... so with a note of caution about eating out, myself, mum, dad and my niece went out on the Monday night to celebrate mums birthday and parents upcoming anniversary. And it was an amazing success, in all areas (no sick lol), and it was fun 😄.
The Tuesday was funny actually - mum and dad had a pension advisor over to the house... he was an impertinent chap and asked me outright what was wrong with me... you know, as I was wearing my chemo cap...(!)
However I took quite a lot of perverse satisfaction in telling him I was there as a witness for mum and dad, and I may have some questions.... which I did, and I also wrote everything down and worked out various calculations. Thank goodness for that long ago economics degree and a twisted sense of humour 😉😉😉.
Anyway... alls well that ended well, and mum and dad got the info they had requested... with a little beady eye from me lol... yay I was useful and used my brain!
Wednesday 24th May dawned and I had my tomato red face on from pre chemo steroids. (It's such an attractive look!).
I pitched up to the hospital, having got a bag of thank you goodies for the chemo team. Fortune favours the bold, and the sun shines on the righteous... we actually got a parking space in the nearest car park.
I was still feeling quite weak and tired from all the side effects listed in last week's blog... but I had girded my loins, as this was an epic day... last chemo... yay!!!!
Except... It wasn't.
😥😥😥😥😥
When the hospital had phoned me on the Tuesday, they did the usual checklist. And said that they would do another assessment when I arrived the following day, but things would probably be ok... so that was my mind set when I went in.
However, my chemo nurse was quite concerned when going over everything... which to be fair... not unlike the song 'head, shoulders, knees and toes' which is never ending... my list of side effects did seem pretty horrendous once I started going through them all.
The thing is, I was laughingly showing her my blog where I listed them all last week!!
Anyway this all required an emergency consult with the Oncologist... who then stopped my chemo plan for that day.
I was absolutely devastated. Tears and everything.
I think because I had psyched myself up for this being the end one, to have it snatched at the last moment was just heartbreaking.
I was also jumping ahead to my surgical appointments for next week, my niece's birthday meal plans... and also my planned mini holiday in 2 weeks time!!!
However, my chemo nurse put it into perspective. My body was so broken that to get chemo on that day may put me into renal failure and I would be back in hospital the following day with much more serious long term issues 😥.
Nothing quite like a stark wake up call, but a real bitter pill to swallow.
Anyway... once I pulled myself together I decided I couldn't face staying at home moping that day... so mum and I went perusing the shops, and then my parents stayed over that night to have another birthday tea for mum.
I now have another week to give my body time to recover to prepare for the final onslaught. Means more blood tests, however, the chemo team have promised to give me a whole set of new drugs to counteract all known effects I have had thus far... goodness knows I am going to be rattling like a bag of smarties at this rate... but this week coming up will be nice hours out and more sleep.
It IS the final one... and it was delayed for the best of reasons... sometimes I need to follow my own sage words of advice to the kids and "suck it up" 😄.
Focusing on the end goal...
Focusing on the end goal...
Focusing on the end goal...
(That's me trying mindfulness chanting... not casting some kind of satanic spell btw!)
Anyway... hopefully next week I will be able to report final one done and dusted... so a bit like the lottery... fingers crossed everybody 😄😄😄. X
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