End of Week 7: Wednesday 11 January 2017
So... thought that this particular entry needed it's own page. It was indeed momentous. 😀
After the emotional rollercoaster of wondering what the key results were going to be, and generally keeping my head up and a cheery demeanour, I knew I was possibly a bit manic waiting for the results today.
Genuinely I am not morbid, but I am hard wired to always look at all possible scenarios, plan for the worst and get a nice surprise when it turns out to be better than expected.
So... having got to the hospital via coffee and cake, we arrived to find the waiting room full and a 45 minute delay on the board. As we had also arrived 15 mins early (punctuality is definitely a family trait lol), it just meant that we were seated in a cramped area with lots of other stressed out people.
Sitting there I was having both hot and cold shivers... and the worst headache I have experienced for a while - but I knew it was just nerves. Poor mum sitting beside me held still as I had my llama fleece hoodie off, then on, then off, then holding my bag... I hate people that fidget as normally I can sit anywhere and not bother.... but clearly not today, and clearly I am really not very patient lol.
Also didn't help that there was another 'McNeill' patient who was called in ahead of me. Anyway... the crowds thinned out, and we were glued to Bargain Hunt on the tv.... we were just about to find out how much a tin bath was about to reach at auction, when the surgeon called us in. (Still going to bug me about that tin bath... may have to try and google lol - sad I know, but it's the small things that stay with me!)
Anyway as we walked in, we all ended up doing the chair dance - I had to sit next to surgeons desk, but then had to move to the bed to get examined.
Well... all I am going to say, is that if you are squeamish... skip the next few paragraphs until you see yellow smiley face 😀.
So, as the surgeon was looking at the wound, he was explaining that yes, the discharge was normal, and that it may continue to drain for the next 10 - 14 days. He also explained that the thicker substance now starting to come out was essentially dead fat / tissue. 🤢🤢🤢. But then he went on to squeeze the wound to see if any more was coming out directly!!!! Even more 🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢.
Honestly, all I could think of was back to teenage years, and all the comedy shots of spot squeezing and projectile discharge! Really not pleasant.
(At this point, I realise nobody will EVER look at me in the same way ever again, and any thought of sexiness or being attractive is so far gone, that me being menopausal with one boob and a moustache may start to look attractive lol!)
Anyhow, he was pleased with what he saw, and just said that the wee hole would remain open until everything discharged, then it would start healing itself. But I got a stack load of new dressings, and hopefully means that leaky boob will start to revert back to dry wonky tit very soon. 😀😀😀
Then back to the chair shuffling game, so I could hear all about the analysis and next steps.
So... he confirmed that absolutely all the tumour had been removed, so no need for second surgery, and that the tumour mass had defined edges and final size was 25mm. This is interesting, as the ultrasound scan on 01 December had shown that at that point in time it had measured 22mm x 18mm x 14mm. So clearly they are aggressive little buggers in the space of three weeks!
(Key thing to remember though is that everything was safely removed though - I only list this all here for my personal record!)
The next thing he advised is that my lymph node biopsy was also clear, so absolutely no worries that the cancer has gone elsewhere either.
So this was absolutely all the best news ever.... it was as I had originally been told, and what I had planned for. And will be beat within 6 months 😀😀😀.
That means that the next stage is for me to start chemo... That bundle of medical joy which means I will have some shitty days and lose my hair - hurray! (Joking aside, I am so looking forward to rocking my wigs... I could commit felonies and never be caught... well, maybe not lol...)
So I have to go back on Tuesday of next week for a chemo consult. Basically this means I will meet the oncologist, and they will discuss what I should expect from the treatment, the treatment timeline, the highs and the lows, and also they need to make sure that my wound is fully healed before I start, and I also have to have my heart checked.
This heart check will be undertaken at the nuclear medicine unit, I think at the Western General... which means another appointment before I actually start chemo... I think I am foreseeing a lot of time spent going to different appointments! On the upside I think I will get different people to come with me to the different appointments so I can spread my unique brand of cheer around, and get different people's life stories and gossip at each stage... I will prepare an Excel spreadsheet to draw up a rota, and create an online sign up form for volunteering lol 😀😀😀.
Anyway, the heart monitoring test will inject tracer dye into me so they can basically check that my heart is still beating, (and that I do indeed actually have one), and that it will be strong enough to withstand treatment. I guess it also gives them a benchmark to test how I am doing as I go through the 6 cycles of chemo.
So all good on that front.
However... we then got talking about other stuff in more detail. (Which to be fair I prompted him on, based on our previous discussions on diagnosis day lol - think I must be a right pain in the ass patient who actually gathers evidence and analyses stuff before hand.)
So, it turns out that one of the other things they were testing for was to see if I had receptors for something called HER2. And I don't. So what I have is sometimes called triple negative breast cancer.
Before going any further in my own blog, if anyone is really interested in what this means, as well as explaining a bit more about what I refer to below, a great guide is available at:
https://tnbcfoundation.org/guide-to-understanding-triple-negative-breast-cancer/
Anyway, combined with my age of diagnosis (38), all this means that that may be a sign that I might be carrying a mutated gene somewhere. (No wise cracks about me being a mutant please - I know I occasionally have scaly lizard skin, but that's down to the fact that I never moisturise lol 😜)
So, my surgeon has written to the Genetics Testing unit who are going to invite me in for a discussion with them in the next few weeks too. (Another appointment lol!)
Now there is a couple of things that need to be kind of explained here. First and foremost, just because I have been referred for gene testing, it does not mean that it's definite that I have any mutations. (Despite being a middle child and a drama queen according to my darling siblings lol 😀)
The bulk of people with triple negative receptors and my age, do not test positive for mutated genes. But it's just that I meet the kind of broad checklist for checking. So actually, yet again, I am grateful for being a 'person of interest' (just not in policing terms I hasten to add here!).
It may be that if I am clear, then that's another thing they can rule out in the greater fight against cancer genes.
However, if it does turn out that I am a positive mutant (sorry, I know that's inappropriate phrasing but it does actually appeal to my sense of humour 😜), well it just means that perhaps I do have other discussions to take place about preventative mastectomies, and possibly a hysterectomy.
The other thing if I am a mutant, then there may be a chance that my siblings may have it too... but there is not point in anyone being concerned just now, as better to deal with facts. The fact is, they may test hundreds of genes or none at all. I spoke to my sister tonight about this too - and she makes equally good points. Anytime anyone is ill with ANYTHING, there is always a possibility that something is contagious, hereditary, standalone or whatever... so equally she agrees that it's best to take each stage as it comes and make decisions based on as many facts and evidence as is possible to gather at the time 😀.
On the upside, if I do have further surgery, it looks like it will be scheduled after chemo and I can skip the radiotherapy - it's a bargain! 😜.
On the upside I also confirmed that I am allowed to go for massages, and that this cancer is not related to the previous cervical biopsy with pre-cancerous cells from 3 years ago... so no fears that something was missed then, as completely different tissue types 😀😀😀.
So after getting through all of this, I also got an appointment to go back and see the surgeon in December for a check up after chemo. (Assuming nothing comes from the gene testing, clearly.)
So... in a nutshell, that was it. It definitely is good news. Just with a potential curve ball. But what is life without a few curve balls now and then? 😘
After putting out the updates to everyone, I then slept for several hours this afternoon as clearly the adrenaline had worn off lol.... but downside is that I am now again awake overnight ... definitely need to get better sleeping pattern!
It's also lovely how many people want to come and catch up with me, but equally if I am up to it, I would quite like to go into work and just touch base and see how things are going lol... "you can take the girl out of work" yada yada....👌
Anyway... this was my update for own records... I appreciate it contains yucky stuff... but then you all know and love me for the person I am...
Not really sure what next week will bring health wise - the chemo consult might be worth writing about - but I am hoping leaky boob dries up and no more emergency flashing at people 😜. Guessing time will tell, you lucky readers!
On that cheery note, I bid adieu for another week...
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