Week 12: Thursday 09 - Wednesday 15 February 2017
Start of this week was great - having prepared for all possible side effects, the first day post chemo was a breeze 😀😀😀😀😀.
I made sure to try eat little and often (mainly cheese and crackers, pringles and rice pudding lol), drank lots of water, took my steroids all before lunchtime to try avoid sleep deprivation, chilled out, watched tv, took dogs for a wee strolls, napped and everything was great.
Most of what I felt was just a bit dizzy, but could live with that. Indeed on the Thursday I had to nip back to the hospital to pick up my insurance form, that I even had a craving for McDonalds, and my lovely friend and neighbour Nic drove me like a regular girls' lunch out!
What did happen, was that about 6pm my body just slumped. Like my batteries had ran out. Couldn't lift my head off the pillow. Wasn't a bad thing, just a really weird sensation.
So... I went with my body and just slept... see, I can follow doctors orders lol 😀😀😜.
However, that night the real hot and cold sweats began. But weirdly my core temperature did not vary much between 36.8 and 37.2 degrees. My skin temperature on the other hand... well let's just say I didn't realise your skin could be polar opposite temperatures at the same point in time! 🤔😜😷.
(I do like my gadget thermometer though lol.)
What this meant though was that I did not get a good night sleep as I was so uncomfortable. Just as well I slept alone as even the dogs didn't want to be beside me that night! What I didn't realise though, was that this was going to the pattern for all week.... and broken sleep means harder to recover.... 😢.
Friday and Saturday I just felt hot and a bit queasy - thoughts of food were ok, but I didn't actually manage to eat that much. On upside, sure this will have done wonders for my diet... but with hindsight, I should have realised I should have logged stuff better.
Saturday and Sunday I also felt really grumpy - mainly due to lack of sleep, but again, hindsight tells me I was getting really dehydrated as I had developed a pounding headache, and you are not supposed to take paracetamol or ibuprofen with chemo in case it masks a fever... so had to keep double checking my temperature as I then desperately took 2 paracetamol for the headache....
Rolling around like a moaning zombie in bed for a couple of days is never going to be good for anyone, but I just felt really quite miserable.
Sunday was the day I got told that I may be emotional as a come down from the steroids, so was trying to be uber careful not to over-vex myself or fall out with my husband... not sure I really succeeded on that front, but didn't get teary until Sunday night, when basically for the first time I didn't think I could do this.
I was so distressed about the pain levels, and taking this medication which makes me feel sick voluntarily, where my whole body aches... I genuinely thought about quitting and not going back for the rest of the treatment. I mean... surgery got it all out, right?
However, after about half an hour of my own pity party, I washed my face and pulled myself together. I always knew it was going to be tough, and actually, how naive had I been to think that preparing for being ill, and actually being ill are two completely separate things???
Now I know I am probably being harsh on myself, but I genuinely expected more from myself. But maybe that's half my problem, but also half my strength. I do push myself, not because I am a glutton for punishment, but because I am focussing on the end goal 😀.
Anyway, come Monday I went for yet another bath to ease my bones (doesn't work btw lol), and I basically had yet another day stuck in bed. Didn't have any energy to get up apart from to go to the toilet, but the problem was that my body was weak, but my mind was racing. So tried to read, but couldn't concentrate on words, so listened to John Cleese on audible instead.
Food had progressed to ice lollies, frozen grapes, and still with cheese and crackers... but I have now completely gone off scrambled egg and all my green teas.... which is tragic 😫.
Tuesday I stayed in bed and listened to Carrie Fisher - actually didn't really enjoy that one. Maybe because I kept drifting off, I am judging it too harshly. Had a lovely surprise delivery from my 2 neighbourhood girls.... flowers and a teddy bear to cheer me up... in what was actually a really crap day, that really cheered me up 😀😀😀.
Wednesday still not having had enough sleep, I decided to go back to audible Harry Potter... and can I just say that although I had had difficulty in getting out of bed for several days due to fatigue... OMG I learned how fast I can move when the vomiting showed up. Genuinely never thought I would be seeing that beast again, as I had escaped all week and was impressed with the anti sickness drugs.
The issue was that I was told to take them for 5 days and stop.... I didn't take on board the fact that actually I could have just kept taking them...doh! 😫😫😫
Additionally, new pains were starting to develop, including that old wives favourite "a chill in my kidneys", and blowing my nose gave me light nose bleeds.
Anyway, although I am cutting into next week's blog, basically overnight on the Wednesday, myself and the toilet bowl became close friends once again, and early hours of morning I tried to eat crackers in case that would help settle stomach. It didn't. So I phoned the cancer treatment hotline and got referred to hospital for assessment. Without spoiling next week's content... ultimately I turned out to be fine. 😀😀😀
Anyway... lessons to be learned from all things this week... I know what to expect from chemo going forwards, I know the general balance of how my moods will be, and I need to make sure I record food and drink I am taking in to make sure it's enough.
On a slightly different tangent, the online groups are good at making jokes at our own expense.... although I started to worry when one lady wrote, "Sometimes a fart is not just a fart ladies....". This started a whole new level of paranoia in me. I mean, I am a lady. I don't do that at any point in time... and to think it may be more....???
That will be a bit crap then... (yip, ALL poo puns are intended lol).
To be fair, I have not been afflicted that way, but makes me think that maybe i should start investing in Tena Ladies or something? Or maybe invest in a butt plug? Or gastric hose?
Oh well, on all of those bum notes, I leave this blog, and leave the hospital trip tale till next week...
But be assured I am fine, back in good humour and hoping that this upcoming week will be better.
I have no immune system this week coming, and my hair should fall out... so will document with interest and share all next week lol. 😀 x
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