Weeks 29 - 30: Thursday 08 - Wednesday 21 June 2017
Well... hello again 😄.
I write this episodic update having come back from my mini break in Cornwall. It was a great holiday as far as my Facebook pics and Mrs Mac blog detailed, but cancer wise it was a bit up and down. 😏
My fatigue levels were awful, and I probably managed to be awake and active for maybe about 4 or 5hrs a day to start with. The heat definitely drained me, and my tolerance for some of the things my niece and nephew were doing was possibly at an absolute low. 😣
Chemo mood swings did make me very intolerant to incessant chatter, people talking with their mouths full or indeed any light hearted cheekiness and bickering, so my laser glare came into being big style. It was possibly a god send that I actually did sleep a lot, and the kids were at school lol.
I had a lot of heart to hearts with mum too... about impending operation and work and life in general... but equally it was great sitting on the beach and just listening to the waves - I think everybody should do that even when healthy! 😄😄😄
(Something I will definitely try to do when I get home too... always a good reason to go get ice cream lol.)
Stupidly, I had also tried to do that thing of trying to wean myself off all the drugs early... still hate taking them... however various horrible chemo side effects came back almost instantaneously, so 'drugs r us' came back into force quite quickly!
I do feel bad for my niece and nephew though... I arrived on my niece's birthday and I had promised to take them out for birthday meal... well let's just say that thankfully it wasn't another Beefeater moment, but I did end up abandoning the kids with mum as I went home to kind of pass out with hot flush and exhaustion!
(And that was despite my niece likening my risotto to baby sick lol.)
Aside from tiredness and some grumpiness, the holiday was good... and my nephew was such a sweetheart when he said he wished he could give me some of his energy so I could recover faster and not sleep so much ❤️.
I also told niece and nephew that I was going back in to hospital for another operation (to be honest I forgot they didn't know already - chemo brain fog - oops!), so they are going to come up and visit me in the hospital at the weekend and bring grapes... I have warned them in advance they will need to peel them and fan me too... 😉😉😉.
(I also figure by the weekend depending on when operation actually takes place I might not look like Frankenstein's bride!!)
I was starting to feel better after a week of being down there - had really started to relax and feel rested... when two red lumps appeared on my forearm. They were hot and sore to touch, and these are the red flag symptoms that are listed in my chemo book...
So, rather than phone the chemo hotline who would automatically have sent me to hospital in Plymouth (with all associated memories of being stuck in hospital at home!), I phoned my chemo unit instead. They sensibly suggested seeing local GP and seeing if I just needed a wee dose of antibiotics.
So that's what I did, and that's what I got lol. He explained that it looked like small infection in my veins caused by the chemo or the cannula site, and I should possibly draw on my arm to show where lumps were so I could see antibiotics working. He also gave me cream for my eyes, as both eyelids swollen and possibly had styes in them!! (I looked a right bonny picture by that point lol 😜)
So back to the house and we spent the next few days visiting more beaches. (Being uber sun aware with my oversized shirts, bug eyed sunglasses and wide floppy hat lol 😁😁😁.)
Coming home on the Saturday, my arm was still sore and indeed looked angry, red and a third lump had appeared. So when my sister picked us up at the airport, I had to promise that I would phone chemo helpline and see if I needed to go into hospital... so I did phone, and did need to go in...
I foolishly thought I had an appointment to go and see the A&E doc who had spoken to me directly.. but nope, ended up being 4hrs in A&E, and the outcome was yet another set of antibiotics to take on top of first set, a large squiggly line drawn on my arm to show spread of infection, and a request to go and see the Oncology Registrar at a different hospital on the following day... can't say I am not well travelled or not looked after through this though 😉.
The Sunday saw me go into the Western, bloods being taken and my arm being analysed by a few different people. Same diagnosis but also phlebitis also diagnosed. So basically inflammation and infection... lumps were actually small blood clots, but not the type that can cause deep vein thrombosis thankfully... (just as well given I had just flown home lol).
I got told my arm will be lumpy and sore for a few months, and I might be left with permanent bruising / discoloured arm... but I will live lol 😉😄😉 (always a bonus).
Monday was a big day - went to see the Plastics team regarding my planned reconstruction.
The Registrar there told me similar stuff to what breast nurse had said, assessed my mental state and then accepted me for surgery.
After examining me, she told me I had good belly tissue (fat), and exclaimed surprise at me still having 'blue boob' from surgery at Christmas... she leaned over and said confidently that they would get rid of that during the op 😉.
She went through risks and benefits, and also explained that I only have enough fat to make a C or D cup new boobs... to which I was delighted. Even more so when she explained whilst they would have some drop like natural breasts, they would sit higher and not droop quite as much as somebody who had not had surgery... and I might not need much support through need for bras in the future... I started laughing as I have a picture of me at 80 with the boobs of a 20yr old 🤗🤗🤗.
She also said that future tweaks once initial boob job had settled may be required, but they could top my boobs up with further liposuction from other parts of my body should I require it... she made the whole thing sound like I could be crafted like a barbie doll, and with no hassle whatsoever!!!
(And people pay thousands to get this done voluntarily!!!)
Between this and the plastics team offering to make my scars look as small and dainty as possible, as well as possibly removing any lumps that may appear over my stomach post surgery, I really could have that sylph like figure I have always dreamed of having but been too lazy to do anything about 😉.
On a serious note, there is a 5% 'failure to take' rate, and whilst they will do everything to save the reconstruction should this happen, I was also advised that if there is ever any risk to life, they would take me back into surgery and whisk everything out.
They also advised that during the initial surgery they have to cut away part of my top rib in order to do all the plumbing in of the veins...
To be fair, I will be asleep throughout and not feel anything, so not going to worry too much about all of this. As a friend said yesterday... it's like walking into a garage to see your car with all its engine bits and wires hanging out... as long as you get it back working as expected, it doesn't matter what happens in the interim as you don't need to know 😄.
So... definitely not going into this light heartedly, but I do keep reminding myself that to reduce chances of cancer returning from 80% down to 0.5% this is still a no brainer. It's only going to be perhaps 2 - 4 weeks of real pain out of the rest of my life.
The only slight bum note is that plastics Registrar has not heard of the gynae procedure being done at the same time and is a bit reluctant to have it done on the same day. She said she will discuss with all surgeons involved but if it doesn't happen it means more waiting, yet another op, and also going through the menopause twice... 😱. So am trying to keep everything crossed hoping that common sense prevails.
Anyway... the next steps are waiting for the surgery date to be confirmed, and I have to get CT scan and pre-op assessment done prior to that. Supposedly I should get dates sent to me by next Friday... can't tell if I am excited or bricking it!
It's also funny as my initial 6 month sick line from surgeon is up at the end of next week. So I went into my GP's surgery to ask what process for getting a sick line actually was... never had to get one before. Anyway - I have to have a phone consult with the doctor next week - I don't have an assigned doctor, as the last 3 doctors whom I had only seen each once, have all since left the practice... hopefully I am not some kind of jinx!
So I am now assigned to a GP who has never seen me, won't be seeing me, and will be working off system notes and what I say to them on the phone. Hmmm. I suppose that's the joys when most of my stuff takes place at hospitals 😱.
Never mind... next sick note I think I will just ask one of the four surgeons cutting into me to sign off lol.
I still hate waiting for stuff to happen though. But aside from this, Dad going in for his gene testing next week. This will determine if it's carried in his family line, or if I am patient zero. Has a bearing on whether my siblings need tested or not, so I have to keep in mind that other people may be impacted too.
Aside from that I am going to be focusing on building up my strength and resilience ... if feeling up to it, longer dog walks and possibly the ability to start going swimming. Going to continue popping into work and catching up with friends for coffee - need to try and keep as normal and as active as possible.
Couple of funnies actually - when I was being assessed by plastics Registrar, she told me I have strong stomach muscles... who knew???
Also, when I went into work, I was wearing a headscarf for first time - decided to be a bit more colourful/adventurous than my skull caps... one of my colleagues commented that he thought I looked quite like a pirate ... so I promptly covered one of my eyes and in best Cornish pirate accent, I replied "harr harr me hearties..."
(Well, I thought it was funny lol 😉)
In the next week my friends are running in the Cancer Research 5k, and all being well we will have a wee BBQ to celebrate afterwards, and I have the joys of learning how to claim benefits... (I have exhausted statutory sick pay at work so I was sent a form by work and advised to phone DWP... so this is going to be a whole new learning thing for me to do this week coming too!)
So, exciting stuff. But all is good. I am still lucky.
I still need to take things in stages, but I will get there. New me, new life, new hobbies and new beginnings... hopefully by Christmas, maybe March at the latest 😄😄😄.
So... until the next exciting instalment peeps, ta-ra for now... xxx
No comments:
Post a Comment